Reminiscent in Rubbermaid

So we've been going through the basement of our house to clean it out before we sell it. About 2 years ago, I literally filled a dumpster with stuff I didn't want in the house any longer. Now I am going through less than 10 boxes and rubbermaid totes... And it is a mix of bittersweet reminders of life: old love letters from middle school girlfriends, baseball cards, shiny rocks collected from Haiti, watercolor paintings, cards from deceased relatives, photos of a past life, micro machines & original Transformers. I have condensed my 4 memory boxes to one now. It's just weird knowing that the last decade of memories of my life fit into one smallish container.

Some of those memories are vivid; some I struggle to recall. Many I remember feeling much more important at the time. Some are letters and memories of friends that left my life unintentionally, and some intentionally.

A decade in a small box.

It seems right to get rid of many of the things from people I will never see or know again, but hold on to some from precious past friends and relatives. In general, I am not a very reminiscent man. That's why God gave me my wife. She scrapbooks and storytells with the best of them. When I am planning big things for the future, she helps me treasure our past, which is one of the reasons I love her.

It just seems at some moments in life, even those who were once important, need to be rinsed from your thoughts and scrubbed from a place of prominence in your own view of your history. Very few people stand out as utterly significant in the bigger story: my family, a few close school friends, some college buds, a few kids who are not kids anymore that I used to mentor.

It always amazes me the seasonality of friendships. I struggle with knowing that most likely, you will say goodbye at some point, and it may be years or decades before you say hello again. You can question how genuine the relationship was, but that does not change the fact that people you love or struggle to be in the same room with, will walk in and out of your life.

I think that is why family is so different than most friends. They generally stick around. Theirs may not be the easiest friendships, but they are people that typically will be there next to you when the sky is falling. There are very few friends that choose to do the same. Those that do, are treasures in your life. Those enduring friendships may be as potentially awkward as family at moments, climaxing to yelling matches, name calling, and pillow fights - but forgiving one another and growing together on the other side is such a rare gift to find in a relationship.

From my perspective, a whole lot of making a longterm relationship work is just showing up. Those that continue to show up in your life, for better or worse, leave a lasting impression and create a place of shelter for you in the relationship. You have somewhere you can go and spill out the yuck of your bad day and party with like it's 1999 (or 1997 for Sarah's high school friends).

So I wonder what the next decade will hold. Who will I want to keep in that rubbermaid bin in another 10 years? I suppose that a series of munchkins will enter our life, who will probably take a prominent place in the scrapbook. I hope that the friendships and relationships I treasure today will be there in a decade for me to reminisce over then.